Jewish life

MY DAY , MY LIFE
CHESHBON HANEFESH



MIDAH OF THE MONTH :


DEFINITION OF THE MIDDAH :


5 TOOLS TO ACQUIRE IT : 1)
2)
3)
4)
5)


AT THE END OF THE WEEK AND OF THE MONTH , DID IT WORK ?
WHY ?


IF NOT CHANGE THEM FOR TOMORROW AND TRY AGAIN .
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YETZER HARA OF THE DAY:

5 TOOLS FOR PROTECTION : 1) ASK HASHEM
2) Give him(Y.H) Kavod first out loud.
3)
4)
5)


DID IT WORK ? WHY ?

IF NOT FIND OTHER TOOLS FOR TOMORROW.
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CONCEPT LEARNED TODAY:

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)


HOW CAN I APPLY THEM TOMORROW , AND WHERE CAN I FIND THEM IN MY DAVENING (write them down in the Siddur so that I'll never forget them).

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

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TEFILAH : NEW INSIGHT ? write them down
USED INSIGHT : DID THEY HELP ?


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WHAT DID I DO WRONG TODAY ?




HOW DO I RECTIFY IT TOMRROW?



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MY MEGILLAH : WHERE DID I SEE THE YAD HASHEM TODAY?
WHAT DID HASHEM WANTED TO TEACH ME?





PASUK OF THE DAY FROM TANACH (by heart) :


WHAT DO I FEEL WHEN I SAY IT ?



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WHAT DID I ACHIEVE TODAY (thank Hashem for it ):




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QUICK REVIEW OF THINGS I SHOULD REMEMBER EVERY DAY:

1) 6 MITZWOS TEMIDOS (= 6 steps before every actions to achieve SHIVISI HASHEM LENEGDI TAMID)
2) 7 STEPS OF BITACHON (from Chovos Halevavos)
3) DID I THANK HASHEM TODAY, if not, do it now.
4) GOAL OF LIFE : PLEASURE = 5 LEVELS OF PLEASURE
5) EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY WAS THE BEST THING
THAT HASHEM COULD DO FOR ME.
6) I SHOULD TAKE MY AVODAS HASHEM SERIOUSLY : THE MOST IMPORTANT IS TAHARAS HAMIDOS AND YRAH-LOVE of HASHEM
7) MY GOAL : DVEYKUS
8) THE 12 STEPS OF MESSILAS YESHARIM
9) FOR GOOD CHINUCH
10) DON'T MENTION ANY NAME
11) ALWAYS SEE ONLY THE POSITIF
12) THERE IS ONLY 2 REALITIES : ME AND HASHEM :THE REST IS JUST ILLUSIONS
13) WHATEVER STRUGGLE I HAVE , I HAVE TO KNOW THAT I AM AN NESHAMA (NOT A GUF) SO THAT I CAN MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
14) HAVE FAVORITE QUOTES OF INSPIRATION ATTACHED TO YOUR MIND CONSTANTLY.



1)
1) TO KNOW AND BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A G-D
2) THERE IS NO OTHER G-D BESIDES HASHEM
3) THE UNITY AND ONENESS OF HASHEM
4) LOVE HASHEM
5) BE IN AWE OF HASHEM
6) DO NOT FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND YOUR EYES

2)
1) The Creator of the Univers loves me more than anybody else in the world possibly can
2) Hashem is aware of all my struggles, desires and dreams. All I need to do is to ask Him for help
3) Hashem has the power to give me anything I want
4) There is no power in the other than Hashem . Only He can grant me success and give me what I want
5) Hashem has a track record for giving me more than I am asking for
6) Hashem gives with no strings attached. I don't ned to earn it or deserve it. He will give it to m anyway
7) The Almighty knows what is best for me and everything He does is only for my good

4) (from lowest to highest)
1) Physical-Material pleasure
2) Pleasure of Love
3) Pleasure of being good and finding meaning
4) Pleasure of creative power
5) Pleasure of Dveykus

8)
1) Torah
2) Zehirut
3) Zrizut
4) Nekius
5) Prishus
6) Tahara
7) Chassidus
8) Anavah
9) Yras Chet
10) Kedusha
11) Ruach Hakodesh
12) Chyas Hamesim

9) (R. ZIMMERMAN from Monsey)
60% SHALOM BAYIS
30% DAVENING
9% MODELING
1% CARE OF CHILDREN

13)
1. Put distance between you (Neshama) and your body.
2. It is the body that hurts and suffers. The Neshama is beyond.
3. The body will go into the ground. You will be free and independent of the body.
4. It is disgusting to identify with the body. It is a joy to identify with the Neshama.
5. The body is a microscopic piece of dust in the universe. The Neshama is larger than the universe.
6. The body is only interested in the nanosecond of the immediate. The Neshama is eternal.
7. The biggest mistake is to identify with the body. The greatest Hatzlacha comes from identifying with the Neshama.
8. Once you are familiar with the above 7 steps, you are ready to realize that you are a חלק אלוק ממעל !

See Chovos Halevavos, Sha’ar Hakenia, Chapter 5, based on Pirkei Avot 3:1
See Chafetz Chaim on Pirkei Avot to find all 7 steps in Mishna.

14)
1)"Tears open the gates of Heaven: songs breaks down its walls" Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.
2)"People say if you cannot goforward you must go back. But I say : if you cannot go forward, you must go forward ! Rav Y. Salanter.
3)OVERCOMING NEGATIVE CHARACTER TRAITS IS THE ESSENCE AND PURPOSE OF LIFE. (VILNA GAON , RAMCHAL, RAMBAM, NESIVAS SHALOM)
4)A PERSON WHO HAS MASTERED BEING IN A JOYOUS STATE WILL BE ABLE TO CURE HIMSELF FROM DESEASE (VILNA GAON).
5) The Divine Presence rests not amidst depression or laziness, rather amidst the joy of one doing a commandment.Talmud Bavli Shabbat 30b

Off of the Derech or in the Derech Hashem ?

My goal here is just to do the Ratzon Hashem and help the world , and if I wrote something that is not Emes , may Hashem forgive me ,
and may it become annulled as if I never wrote it...
(I wrote this essay as a consequence of being a Dorm father of 10 Girls at risk (15-18 years old) during their school-year, and I hope it will help others)


Why do our kids go "off the Derech" is a very simple question , but maybe so simple that we are blind by it.
As the Ramchal says in Messilas Yesharim : The more obvious and known something is , the more we will forget it and lose its true meaning.

Our kids live in a generation of physical pleasure and spiritual stimulation (from the side of Tumah) , now it is known by Chazal that one need to make a balance in the world . If we are not able to show our kids a Yiddishkeit of pleasure , a Yiddishkeit of spiritual experiences , we won’t be able to fight against the Tayvos of the Goyshe world (Chas VeShalom).
Now , Of course one has to keep Mitzwos !
Of course one has to be a frum Jew !
Of course one has to learn Torah !

But weren’t the Halachos kept in a much better way at the Time of the Bais Hamikdash ?! and still , the Holy house got destroyed.
As Rabbi Hirsh explains: The outward and visible life of the temple was superficially correct and strictly according to the letter of he Law, presenting the illusion that the temple was still filled with the Glory of G-D ( Chapter 1 of Isaiah , collected writings).
And as Chazal teaches us : every day that the Bais Hamikdash is not build is as if we destroyed it that day ! (Lo Aleynu)
This seems to show that there is still something wrong in the way we approach Hashem, Torah and Mitzwos ,
because this is the way you will teach it to your kids.
This comes essentially from a lack of true Avodas Hashem and devotion ; as the Maharsha writes in Sanhedrin 106b : without devotion to G-d a person's intellect will not lead him to truth. This is one of the reason , I believe, that Hashem needed to send Baaley Teshuvah : to rejuvenate this lack of devotion, to rejuvenate the true Avodas Hashem our elders had.
Truth in this world is a very scarce commodity. Indeed, the Mishna informs us in Massechta Sotah Perek 9 that in the times of the Mashiach, truth will be a scarce and rare commodity.
And more than ever in this generation and even more in America , where everything is about the outside :
About how much I learned or how frum I look , if we don't carefully focus on the inside then we lose ourselves and our Kids in a superficial frumkeit.

[note to the reader : I do not want to sound negative , my goal is not to attack our holy Rabbis and the system, but Chazal many times explain that in order to see light, one need to create darkness, then we can truly see and reach a level of peace and beauty , a new level of perfection( this is maybe what the prophet meant when he said:"Yotzer Ohr uBore Choshech , Osseh Shalom"...). therefore we have to see through the darkness , we have to use it in order to reconnect to the light.
Furthermore Rabbi Avraham Twersky explained that people don't like change, they don't like to hear : there is something wrong in your approach and a new approach is required , this is because it is uncomfortable and difficult, it requires a lot of humility and honesty.
Now it is true that a new approach can be very dangerous and sounds like the beginning of the conservative and reform thinkers. But this is maybe the risk, the test. It might still be worthwhile to make that type of choice and eventually come closer to G-d, even if it implies "dangerous ground" , as oppose to: not taking any risk and stay in a comfortable routine that might keep me frum but numb . Obviously as Shlomo Hamelech says "there is nothing NEW under the sun " but we had the Vilna Gaon who felt necessary to tell us that The Torah is above the sun and therefore there is room for what we call "Chiddushim", new insight , new ideas , new choices .
So let us stay positive with a burning desire to come closer to Hashem , so that whether the approach is old or new ,He will guide us so as not to fall in the hands of the Yetzer Hara. This is the power of our Torah Shebealpeh , the power of our "free choice", the power to change the world , it was hard for the Jews to accept it , it is still hard nowadays , but let us try with the help of Hashem to use this powerful weapon.
To conclude: Some of you might not agree with what I wrote , and that's fine.
Machloket have always existed in our Jewish life, it even gives life to it, as long as your goal is the same as mine : to pursue Emes , to desire to come closer to Hashem, all for His name's sake , then we can still love and respect each other like Hillel and Shamay (Any and all disputes which are for the sake of heaven will endure. Any and all disputes which are not for the sake of heaven, will not endure. What is an example of a dispute which is for the sake of heaven? This is the dispute of Hillel and Shamai. What is an example of a dispute which is not for the sake of heaven? This is the dispute of Korach and his followers. (Pirkei Avos Chapter 5 Mishna 17)]











Most of the kids that went off the Derech are kids that deep inside them , felt their Neshama crying and be frustrated from a lack of True Torah ,
a lack of passion in doing the Mitzwos , a lack of spirituality which since Shabbatay Tzvii (Imach Shemo), became something almost Taboo and dangerous , or reserved for high Tzaddikim , we had people like the Ramchal , the Baal Shem Tov , the Gaon of Vilna trying to show that this wasn’t true , but the truth is that Gemara-Halacha and mysticism need each other , unfortunately nowadays even a big part of Chassidus has fallen into the hand of the Yetzer Hara using tools like habit and a lack of Derech Eretz , just like the student of Rabbi Akiva who loosed their sens of respect for each other even though they were all Tzaddikim.

So now , this is I believe, one of the approach we have to use to help our kids and redirect them towards the True Derech Hashem :


but before this we have to set up a few rules :

Before helping the kid one has to:

1) Ask Hashem for help.
2) Love him : to understand that this kid is at risk because his Neshama is higher than others and therefore might have even more potential than others, you have to see his greatness. As Rav kook writes: In our generation there are many souls who are on a very low level regarding their willed holiness. thus, hey are afflicted with immoral behavior and dreadful beliefs . But their innate Segulah light shines brightly (Igrot vol.II , letter 555 (1913)). Rav Kook went on to explain that heretics and non-believers usually lose their inner segulah-holiness. However, we live in special times. The Zohar describes the pre-Messianic generation ("Ikveta deMashicha") as being good on the inside and bad on the outside". That is to say , they have powerful inner holiness, even though their external, acquired holiness is weak and undeveloped
(Based on Olat Ri'iah vol. I p.236).

3) Do it in a way that is not going to humiliate him (in private) (Sefer haChinuch Mitzwah Asseh 218).
4) Speak to him with calm and softness and that he should know that you do it for his good and to bring him into Olam Haba.
(Rambam ,Hilchos Deos chapt. 6 Halacha 7).


For kids that have already issues with Yiddishkeit:

Teach them with Love that they are not a failure to the system! Just the contrary ! They are the hope of the Jewish people , the one that can finally bring Moshiach ! Why ? Because your kids , are aware of what is missing , what need to be added to Judaism to make it better.
You can finally focus and be aware of why you do Mitzwos and their deeper meaning , so that you can understand why they can bring you closer to Hashem .
Kid ! Find out what is bothering you ! What is your Neshama telling you , speak it out.

You want to have pleasure , there are Kosher ways to have pleasure . I have even better than that for you , you can taste a pleasure higher than any physical pleasure of this world , and this is to meet with Hashem . And you don’t even need to meditate to achieve this , you just need awareness of what reality truly is . Every Mitzwah can become a meeting with Hashem until you start to have a relationship with Him.
This way you are going to start to feel Him more and more until you’ll Love Him , and you’ll understand that every Halachos He has given you are meant to be pleasurable and meaningful.
This way being religious becomes enjoyable , which is crucial as Rabbi Desssler ztl' writes :
''Service without joy -without heart- is no service at all ... He has not even started on the road of true service of Hashem. And this is the root of all sin. ''(Michtav Eliyahu, Ki Tavo).
This is probably related to the fact that it says in Sanhedrin 106b: "Rachmana Liba Baei"= "Hashem requires the Heart".
One has to be clear in his mind when dealing with kids taht the most important is the devotion , not the material. Derashos Haran#6 says: Someone who devotes his body and soul to G-d and strongly desires to serve Him (even without being a scholar), will reach a higher level than someone who is a scholar ( but is lacking desire).


Of course , there might be a problem here for the parents or the Teachers who never made that reality real , making this reality real is achieving Yras Shomayim .
Reshis Chochmah Yras Shomayim, this is the first thing our kids need , the first Chochmah they have to learn , to be in AWE of Hashem.
So , If you never showed your kid a beautiful landscape , or observed a stunning piece of art or taught an incredible insight in Tanach-Gemara or ate a delicious fruit and said : <Then you will have a lot of difficulty to change the child’s reality.
But you have to do it now .
You have to tell them that for YOU it doesn’t matter so much that they’ll should be religious or not . The kid needs to feel that you love him no matter what , and that the only reason you want him to be frum is because that’s the only way he can be truly happy , the only way he can achieve the highest level of pleasure.
The only reason he should be frum is because that’s what Hashem wants , because He loves you and he wants You to love Him.
But not because you want it for your own pride, so that you will be admired in the community... this is only selfish reasons ,
therefore it is written : Success in the education of children depends upon the purest of motives.( Mechilta Mishpatim ).

The Chovot Hatalmidim from Rav Shapira zt’l clearly explains in his Hakdamah that the child has to come to want to do the Mitzwos by himself, the desire has to come from him, from his Neshama not from you. Otherwise one day he is going to drop everything in one shot, nobody is going to understand ; until now he was just making you a favor , sometimes just so that you won't feel embarass when people will ask : how is your son/daughter doing ?...

You , parents-teachers are just guides to help THEM CHOOSE instead of YOU choosing for them. THEY have to want to be frum.


All those kids have different issues , and need their issues to be healed to become more frum.
How can you tell a child to walk in the Derech Hashem if his leg is broken !?
Heal first the leg then he will run by himself.
Most of those kids know the Halachos anyway , they are just missing the taste that goes with it.
Don’t tell him not to do Mitzwos , don’t tell him what is Assur , tell him what is Mutar , what is enjoyable in yiddishkeit. If you don’t know then you have the same problem as the kid , but you buried it in you long time ago and never dealt with it , you were until now like a robot , and it is the opportunity for you to become a true Jew now , don’t focus on the past , focus on now .

I believe strongly after having discussed it with Rebbeim , that the kids that went out of the Derech need to go through the same process as Baaley Teshuvah , Now the Baaley Teshuvah need also to be taught the same way I described it here for the kids, so that the Baaley Teshuvah also won’t fall in the hand of a boring Judaism . They have passion , and we have to keep the coals hot , to inspire the frum world.
Interestingly Ha-Gaon Rav Moshe Sternbuch(Responsa Teshuvos V'hanhagos, Orach Chayim 350) writes :We must begin with a ba'al Teshuvah as with a child , who at first lies flat , then progressively learns to sit , crawl , stand, walk and eventually to run. So too , we educate him according to that which he is able to accept... according to his capabilities little by little....therefore there is no need to start with Shabbos, but rather with that which he is able to accept.




Therefore both Baaley Teshuva and Kids at risk should be focused on Asseh Tov before the Sur Mera...
{{The Gerrer Rebbe once said, "We are told in Tehillim first to leave evil and then to do good. I will add that if you find it difficult to follow this advice , you may first do good, and evil will automatically depart from you."
According to Tosafos (Nazir 28b-29a) the concept of education for Mitzwos is only pertinent to instruction in the active performance of Mitzwos , however to warn against transgression is not an element of education. A possible explanation for this comment is that the purpose of education is to instill love for the Torah. The Ba'alei Tosafos maintain that this love is developed by the performance of positive Mitzwos rather than by refraining from wrongdoing.
Therefore , someone who is not ready to accept the "Yoke of Mitzwos" completely should fulfill positive Mitzwos and experience through them
the beauty of the Torah. "Contemplate/Taste and see that G-d is good"(Tehillim 34:9).}}
From the book ''after the return'', by Rabbi Mordechai Becher and Rabbi Moshe Newman.

And as Rabbi Daniel Mechanic says , one of the 2 ways to be Mekarev nowadays is with : cholent, vodka and Carelebach...
(the emotional kiruv ( the 2nd way is the intellectual kiruv)).



I believe also , and this is my own opinion , that a big mistake is done with the Baaley Teshuvah:
They are often taught to become FFBs , which I believe is not ideal , and on the contrary the FFBs should be taught how to be Baaley Teshuvah.
The frum world of course has to give the Chochmah from the Mesorah with the different Hashkafos.
The Baaley Teshuvah have to give the passion and their originality ( which is the same passion our Gedolim experience , since it is all there, in the Torah).
Thus creating a new type of Jew , a Jew who serves Hashem with heart and mind , unifying the eastern world and the western world ( Sfardim with Ashkenazim, Chasidim with Misnagdim, Mekubalim with Yekes...). Now by "new" I mean a refreshed jew who starts to be aware of the true beauty of serving G-d, of the passion that was hidden in his heart for so many years, he fills like reborn again ,
and who becomes from now on , a Rabbi Moshe Feinstein , a Rabbi Aharon Kotler , a Ben Ish Chay , a Chazon Ish...
He will become also one of those new lights who fills the world , like those Rabbis , he will be unique.





There is also too much Taboo , there is a need as much for the Frum world than the Baaley Teshuvah world to learn with Rabbis how to deal with drug and sex and all the different issues we are confronted with nowadays, things that people are scared to speak about , many are shy and end up never speaking about it, the Rabbis have to introduce it. There is a big confusion among kids , at 15 they should already know why sex and relationship with the other sex before marriage is destructive , how alcohols and drugs are dangerous and give them a false idea of what joy and spirituality is.
They have to be prepared; they have to be aware of the dangers of the Goyshe world.
And more than anything they have to know that if they stumble and they are not always Tzadikim , they are normal , and they won't be rejected , they are still Tzadikim , and we still love you , and we are going to help you.
But if they stay too long with a sense of guilt and sadness , then Chazal says that this is the root of all sins.
Teshuvah works for absolutely everything ( Tomer Devorah ).


I want to bring out a last 2 very important point :

1) For some of our kids at risk , sometimes , one would have to tell them to continue doing what they do wrong , but in a way that will bring them to eventually stop doing it.
There is this concept in the Zohar : to give a gift to once Yetzer Hara .
Also it is written that , to commit a minor sin in order to save oneself from a greater sin is not only permitted , but is also obligatory( Shabbos 4a , Tosafos and Meiri).
for example : If the kid smokes 10 cigarettes on Shabbes, Chas veShalom, tell him to smoke 9 , then 8 ... until he will totally stop.
Those kids who transgress know that smoking on Shabbes is Assur , and inside their heart they fill guilty even if not apparent on their face.
But telling them to stop in one shot , will not work.
You need to inject a little bit of poison at a time until the whole poison has to effect , just like drug addict, or like vaccination.


2) As we all know, there is this concept of Shelo Lishmah that will bring you to the Lishmah (Pesachim 50b). But not every Shelo Lishmah can bring you to Lishmah.
It seems clear that nowadays this Heter that the Chachamim gave in order to study Torah doesn't work anymore, as a support I will quote Rav Dessler : In recent times we have witnessed a great decline in external motivations for Torah and Mitzwos... Nowadays the Shelo Lishmah of Torah has virtually disappeared... the result is that the Shelo Lishmah of Torah has been destroyed. So far from conferring any prospects of material advantage, to be a Torah-student nowadays demands self-sacrifice. He goes on to explain that the reason Hashem has taken away this ladder from beneath our feet is to make up our mind to return. Then Hashem himself will raise us
to the top. ( Michtav Eliyahu , chapter on Teshuvah)

All that , that is happening nowadays is a clear sign for everybody to return towards a true and sincere Avodas Hashem with the burning desire in our hearts to come close to Hashem so that His Glory should finally be revealed. For this, one need a great effort (self sacrifice) each time he studies Torah : he has to be aware that he does it because that is what Hashem wants , but not only that, he should do it with pure intentions, with Ahavah and Yrah which are the two wings to elevate us and the Torah.
One's divine service must be a balance of love and fear (great awe) of G-d. This love and awe of G-d are referred to by the sages as "trey gadfin", in Aramaic "two wings", with which one can elevate oneself to higher and higher levels of divine service. One cannot fly with only one wing. By Rabbi Binyomin Adilman Based on Chiddushei HaRim Al HaTorah, pp.160-61.
The Sefer Charedim in his introduction on the Mitzwos brings the Zohar that says: Mitzwos done without Ahavah and Yrah are not Mitzwos.
The Malbim seems to clearly express this self sacrifice: What is needed is an extreme effort to retain contact with one's awareness of the creator: an effort against nature, almost against gravity. (On Mishley 4:13)

The Maggid of Mezrich says : the expression , "Lishmah" refers to the name of the Torah : The word "Torah" indicates something that teaches the way in which one should go ( Likuteim Yekarim #201). It has to bring me more clarity; it has to bring me closer to Hashem.




For our kids Chinuch

I believe there should be 5 main Focus in the Chinuch

1) First Middos , Derech Eretz Kodem LaTorah, the child has to understand clearly that the whole goal here is to become a Mench by purifying his character traits constantly , this should be his main focus everyday of his life , because this is the only way to connect to Hashem and be Happy , and have pleasure all the time. He should use his Torah learning for this purpose essentially !
The Chofetz Chayim said that the only thing missing for Moshiach to come is to fulfill : Veohavtah Leracha Kamocha.
Orchos Tzaddikim in the Hakdamah : no deed is of much value without pure awe ... and if you do not have good traits, you do not have Torah and Mitzwos, for all of Torah hinges upon the perfection of one's traits.
One's Olam Haba depends essentially on this.
The Vilna Gaon writes :The prime purpose of man's life is to constantly strive to break his bad traits , and to improve. Otherwise what is life for ?
All sin stems from unimproved character traits. ( Even Shleymah 1:1,2)

2) Torah , needs to be interesting , this is Torah ! if it is not wonderful at list at the end of the Shiur , the child is not going to be interested,
he is not going to remember either, it becomes just a science or a piece of information in space .
Avodah Zarah 19a : A person only learns Torah if he finds it interesting...Rashi : a student should only be taught the Gemora that he interested in .
If he is taught a different Gemora , it will not be retained since attention is dependent on interest. Maharal: the reason is because torah requires a connection to the recipient.
The Shiur needs to have practical applications , so that the that the Torah becomes Toras Chayim.
Torah by definition is something that attracts the mind and touches the heart .
The focus has to be the quality of learning , how well the Torah is changing me , as opposed to quantity.
We can see this in the story of Doeg ( Sanhedrin 106b : Eyn Toraso Shel Doeg Ela Mesafa veLachutz : Doegs Torah (knowledge) was merely from the lips outward (that is : he did not internalize it in his heart (Rashi)) and even though he knew so much ,he became wicked and died prematurely.
We are not interested in someone who 30 years later has just acquired more knowlegdge , this is worth nothing !
The Meam Loez says : Even if one is a Torah scholar, but lacks awe of G-d , his scholarship will be of no value in the eyes of G-D (Ekev10:12).
It has to be a Torah that fills his all body and changes his behavior until he becomes a true Yreh Shomayim , which is the goal of his learning ... unfortunately , too many people get distracted with the details of the learning and forget the Tachlis of all those details, what we learn from it.
One has to remind himself all the time why he is learning and what is his goal in life.

3) Mitzwos need to be explained , why is it going to bring me closer to Hashem , what’s the purpose of it ?!
But even more important than that, one has to focus first on the mitzwos that are most important and relevant like the 6 constant Mitzwos.
One has to learn how to make them pleasurable which will then be a sign of closeness to Hashem.

4) Tefilah needs to be studied constantly, almost every day, it teaches you how to speak to Hashem , is there something greater than that ? That is the essence of the Jew. Everybody can be like Moshe Rabbeynu means, to my humble opinion , that everybody can have an intimate relationship with Hashem , each one on his level , you can really speak to Him and He will really respond .

5) Everything else : all the other actions of our daily life
As the Messilas Yesharim explains: everything in this world is to help us come closer to Hashem , it is up to every individual to judge carefully and see if he is coming closer. But one has to be very honest with oneself and one has to know the Emes about one's intention when choosing to use this material world.

My goal in writing all this is obviously not in order to go against the system that we have, but I believe that all the troubles that we have with our kids is part of the message that Hashem is sending : look , there is a lack of awareness of your goal in your Torah and Mitzwos , make Teshuvah = feel that you are coming closer through your actions , if you don't , then it is a sign that something is lacking.

I will end up with a quotation from Michtav Eliyahu : We see holy sparks ( our kids) held prisoner by the forces of darkness. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE ? THOSE WHO LEARN TORAH BUT FAIL TO PRACTICE WHAT THEY LEARN IN EVERYDAY LIFE.
As Rabbi M.CH. Luzatto wrote, heavenly lights which are left unused and are not engaged in the world of action are prey to the forces of evil.
(Adir Ba-marom,Warsaw ed. p.22) The result is utter confusion and instability... (Ekev).

May Hashem help us achieve Truth in all our ways.

# posted by michael gutmacher @ 1:41 AM 0 comments

Rosh Hashana and awareness

What happens on Rosh Hashana ?

Rosh Hashana is not a day of repentance; it is a day of Teshuva.
What is Teshuva ?
Teshuva means return. It is a day where we return to an awareness.
Which awareness ?
The awareness of our true relationship with G-d.
what is it ?
The first relationship Adam had with G-d when he was created , was based on the awareness that G-d is the King of the univers.

This is what happens on Rosh Hashana : We some back to the beginning of creation, we come back to Gan Eden (in the Bais Midrash) and we fix Adam mistake after he sinned.
What did he do ? he was hiding.
Why ? he lost the awareness that G-d is everywhere ,
that G-d knows everything = that He is the King.
All what G-d wanted is that Adam should stand in front of Him an d admit his mistake, G-d will have forgiven him, Adam only realize that when Kayin became partially forgiven.
Therefore we come on Rosh Hashana with all our sins and we say :
“G-d ! we are sinners, and we are aware that what we did was wrong,
we accept it, but still , we come in front of You , even on a day of danger for us, on the day of judgment. We are coming back to you and still want you as our King, whatever sentence you will give us, because we love You , we know who You are, we are aware of it.”
And we say this with Joy, with awe, with love, with confidence, because we know that behind the throne of justice lies a G-d of Rachamim(mercy).

This is also the meaning of the Shofar : what is the meaning of blowing the Shofar ?
We are here all in the Bais Midrash and connect ourselves to the biggest Tzaddik, who can include all our Neshamos(souls) in his , (this is the power of the Tzaddikim ) , and he takes the Shofar and blows in it , he gives away his Neshama to Hashem and therefore our too.
The Tzaddik is showing G-d that we are ready to give our lives back to Him , because all what we want is that He should be King.
In a sens the Tzaddik tells G-d a little bit what Moshe Rabbeinu told G-d after the sin of the Golden Calf : “save them or erase me from your book”.

This is actually the secret of Nefilas Hapayim and probably connected to our bowing on the floor during Aleynu Leshabeach.We tell G-d:”If we can’t give you Nachas Ruach (satisfaction) this next year then we are ready to disappear, to go back on the floor , back to earth and disappear, as long as You stay King of the world and You are glorified , that’s all what we want.”















Yom Kippur and potential

One’s we come back to this awareness on Rosh Hashana then we can regret that we misused our potential.
What potential ?
Rosh Hashana gives us a second awareness : The fact that G-d is judging us teaches us that everything we do matters.
If everything we do matter it means that G-d gave us some of His power to affect the world.

If G-d gave us some of His power it has to be infinite power since He is infinite.
Rosh Hashana is therefore a preparation for Yom Kippur:
We realize that Hashem gave us an amazing potential and that last year it was misused. Just the fact that G-d is our King should be amazing to us, and bring us to awe. We therefore reconsider who we really are in the same time as we make G-d King and we declare that “we want this year to reveal the King to the world by using our tremendous potential He put into our hands. All our actions we from now on be for the sake of our King .
Realizing that what we do matters to Him brings us to the awareness that He loves us and that He cares about us , it should bring us to love our King even more.

If one can get a glimpse of his own potential then he can feel a little of the power of Adam Harishon before he sinned, an infinite amount of potential.
We are now back to before the Sin of Adam , how am I going to use my potential this year ? Am I going to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil or am I going to eat from the Tree of Life.
If I make the right choice I can just by myself elevate the whole world and bring Moshiach.
[ I just want to point out here why we see in many books about the fact that those Holy days (Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur) are essentially a Tikkun (rectification) for the sins connected with the Bris(sexual immorality).
This is because the Bris Milah symbolizes infinite potential ,
the semen can bring millions of souls to the world and it can even bring the soul of Moshiach ! Controlling this potential is the purpose of our creation because it implies refining ourselves through our potential ,refining our Middos(character traits) , this is what purifies us so that we can come closer to G-d, this is one of the meaning of eating from the tree of life].







To conclude : thanks to the awareness on Rosh Hashana that G-d is my King ,
I am able to feel and understand what my mission is, therefore during the 10 days , I work on myself to understand my true nature , my true mission and potential until I am able to internalize it and connect to it.
Then on Yom Kippur I can stand in front of the King of Mercy and show Him that I understood who I really am and you tell G-d: this is who I am , this is what I will do.
We therefore become greater than angels and Hashem is having Nachas from His children.